Friday, January 6, 2012


Hey what's going on everyone? I hope you all had a great 2011 and have an even better 2012. I can't believe it is already January and the baseball season is just about a month away. This has by far been the fastest off-season for me since I was drafted in 2006. It has also been my busiest off-season of my career. As many of you know, in the last three months I have moved into a new house, got engaged, and signed with a new team. Now that 2012 is upon us, I am looking forward to warm weather and baseball. But before that, let me tell you a few things that have really been grinding my gears. If you agree, let me know in the comments below. If you think I'm over-reacting, keep your comments to yourself...Just kidding!

The first thing that has been driving me nuts (and the main reason for writing this blog post) are mass emails promoting your company but acting like we are best friends. I know you don't really give a shit about me. How could I tell? When you send me an email every week that looks like this:

Hello Friend,

Hope you had a great holiday season. My company is doing great! We sell this, and this, and this, and this, and you should really buy all of them. Have a great 2012!

Your Friend,
Who Givesashit

I literally get at least twenty of these a week through email, Linked In, Facebook, and Twitter. I'm by no means a great businessman, but I'm pretty sure receiving emails like this make me want to never buy your company's product. If you run a company out there I'm telling you, it is not a good marketing tactic.  

The second thing on my list happened to me last night after picking up a to-go order at PF Chang's. I was walking out the door with my food in my hand and noticed someone about fifteen feet behind me about to leave as well. I made sure to wait a few seconds and hold the door open for the guy. He proceeded to walk through the door without taking it from me and didn't say a damn thing. For now on, if you don't say thank you, it's an automatic kick in the nuts. I like that rule.

The last thing on my list is Facebook anytime of the year, but especially right after New Year's Eve. Status updates may be the worst thing ever invented. They are so bad that you almost have to look at them. I don't know why I waste precious minutes of my life reading some of the stupid crap that is on there. The worst is right after New Year's Eve. This is everyone's opportunity to let the world know that they have friends, are wicked cool because they drink alcohol, and are so hungover they just can't get out of bed for a week and a half. I just find it strange that 28 year olds are still trying to be the cool kid on Facebook. I guess I'm just still upset that I went through my school years receiving atomic wedgies and swirlies from these kids fifteen years ago.

Anyways, I'm sure I could go on forever about things that really grind my gears, but these are just a few of the things that I've noticed over the past few days. Give me a list of things that grind your gears in the comment section below and have a great day!


  1. Spot on man, spot on!

    It irritates the piss out of me when I'm being polite and holding a door open for someone and they don't even bother to make eye contact and give a nod. If you're not going to say thank you then you could at least acknowledge me by making eye contact or something.

    Also - at least the emails you get from marketers call you friend. The ones I get call me Lindsey - even after I've emailed them telling them they have the wrong person and I'm not interested...I'll get a response back saying "sorry Lindsey".

  2. Things that grind my gears:
    1: People who panhandle for retweets: (Hey, Robinson, I call my kid Little Cano. How about a retweet.) My rule: Tweet something worth retweeting. Then it will be retweeted.

    2:Parents who attend kids practices and talk about how they were once the terror in the batters box or on mound. C'mon guys we all sucked. We were never scouted. When we were puking outside nightclubs, the guys who we claim can't play for shit were taking extra BP and chasing the dream.

  3. FB friends who post dozens of  pix of  "cute" cats/dogs with stupid sayings.
    Rudeness of any sort.

  4. LOL  @ Lance--a charity I support somehow got its files mixed up and now salutes me as "Thomas" in every email!

    I think the PF Chang's guy is part of a pervasive belief that people don't have to interact with each other any more, let alone  be courteous or acknowledge courtesy. We all have little electronic devices to share our lives with now; why should we follow any of the rituals of human civilization?

    A few things that raise my blood pressure: Drivers in front of you who brake suddenly in the open road, THEN put their turn signals on. People in parking lots who walk behind or step out in front of cars that are already in motion. People on public transit who don't understand how to get out of the doorway so people can enter and exit. (Occasionally I get some small satisfaction in those last cases where the bag I am carrying somehow makes contact with the person who will not move.)

    And two things on twitter, often from colleagues of yours: players I follow who RT their other followers who beg for RTs (to me this is like not only giving the guy who's been yelling "BALL! BALL! CAN I HAVE A BALL?" a ball but also stopping everyone in the park to tell them you just gave him one), and folks who beg for more followers without ever actually saying anything interesting on Twitter that would make you want to follow in the first place.

  5. Yes!!!!

    The whole P.F Changs story....

    Now every time I hold the door for someone, and they don't say thank you, I just go, "You're welcome" to myself haha. :)

    Hope all is well, Matt! :)


  6. Cliche facebook statuses grind my gears sometimes too.  I'm getting really sick of the ones where people post photos of outdoor thermometers.  Yes.. we all realize how unseasonably hot or cold it happens to be at this point in time! I don't need your cellphone pics to prove it to me.

  7. Hahaha that's awesome

  8. Yes I agree completely with you. I hate the begs for retweets

  9. Yes I hate rudeness

  10. Haha good ones!

  11. Haha that's great...thanks u too!

  12. I always hold doors for people too, and hate when they're not courteous. Sometimes when there are two doors in a row (like most stores) I hold the first one, and if they don't say Thanks I pull the second one shut.

  13. I will try that for now on lol

  14. "Dear "Friend", Uh [I think your name is Mark or Mike, but since I can't quite remember, I'll just leave it at that.] Are you enjoying your new home and all of the junk mail that comes with it? Have you gotten that ONE VERY IMPORTANT piece from me? I know you get a lot of offers, but you know mine is the best! I offer YOU the Automatic Door,  so with a simple nod, the door will open for an ENTIRE JUNKET OF PEOPLE, [YES! I"M USING CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EMPHASIS,  IN CASE YOU ARE IGNORING ME. IS IT WORKING???] Actually, I will stop that shouting now. It's giving me a headache, or maybe just not helping the one I already have. You see Friend, I was out & about late last night and got terribly wasted, hit a tree, started a fight and scored a goal.  See how much I love me? Please RT this.  I don't care if it's more than 140 characters! 
    Thinking of ME and my cat Fluffy during this holiday season! "

  15. Congrats on all the awesome shit that happened in 2011...I don't know how you can make 2012 better but just don't let it get worse, ya know, don't let your career end, your engagement get called off, and your house foreclosed on. And I agree about the holding the door thing, automatic kick in the nuts..or whatever else is there. Girls can be jerks too and sometimes need a fast kick between the legs as well! And I can not stand facebook sometimes because of the cool kid statuses. I always figure around our age that people are beyond trying to impress everyone and are actually making a life for themself but maybe that's because I'm a loser and I post about work and animals all the time. Damn, maybe we're just bitter because we're NOT the cool kids.