Friday, October 21, 2011

SIR, HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?

Laura's car is a piece of shit. Ok, I take that back. Calling it a piece of shit is taking it a bit far, but it has seen its better days. Over the years its had its fair share of issues, so when she told me one of her windows was broken and wouldn't go up, I wasn't surprised. It's not the fact that the car is too old, or not a good car. I mean, the thing is a Honda and should go another 120,000 miles. It is the fact that she drives the thing like a damn bumper car. Just take a look at her bumpers and you'll see what I'm talking about. She's rear-ended people, sideswiped her own car while driving someones else's, backed into just about everything imaginable, and almost drove through our garage door.  Laura has a bunch of great qualities about her, driving just isn't one of them.

For the last month she has driven around with her passenger window down, allowing whatever wants to come in the car, to freely come on in. Whether its the forty degree temperatures when she drives to work at six in the morning, or the monsoon like rain that passes through the area every couple of days, its made itself comfortable on the passenger seat of her car recently.  For some reason Laura was too proud to tape a garbage bag over the window because she thought it would make her car "look like crap." Personally, I'm not sure how much crappier it could possibly look, and actually think it could potentially hide some of the cars flaws. I mean what's more embarrassing? Driving with a dark bag covering your open window during a hurricane, or having people watch you struggle to not drown as your drive down route 1.

video

Police Officer - "Sir, have you been drinking tonight."

Me - "No sir, just taking my girlfriends car down to the body shop to fix her broken window."

Anyways, I was free yesterday, and started to feel pretty bad for her piece of shit car, so I decided to take the thing down to a dealership my uncle works at to get an idea why the window won't go up. We take it over to the Collision Center and the mechanic comes out to inspect the problem. He tries the window a few times and sees that it won't budge. "Hmmm, looks like there may be a problem with the motor." He tries it a few more times. "Yeah, its got to be the motor." He pauses to think for a minute, then looks at me. "The window lock button isn't pressed over there is it?" In my head I quickly think to myself, "come on buddy, she's been driving around in the cold, soaking wet rain for the last month! I think she would have had the common sense to un-press the window lock button by now!" Instead, I just looked and said, "No, there's no way its pressed. It's definitely the window. Everything on this car is falling apart!" Just as I finish, he reaches across the center console, clicks the window unlock button, and what do you know?! The window goes up like brand new. You've got to be shitting me.

15 comments:

  1. Hahahaha.. 

    I really don't feel so bad now about my girlish lack of car knowledge and ability.

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  2. Hahahahahahahaha! OH I can soooooooo relate! Or at least my husband can....heehee. Just an awesome piece!

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  3. Unreal! hhahaha.... Seeing her face when you told her the problem would have been priceless.

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  4. Ha-ha-ha-ha! [You need to send this one to Click & Clack. They would love to hear it!]

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  5. I guess it's true that there's no such thing as a stupid question.

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  6. Yes very funny huh lol

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  7. U should have seen my face! Lol

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  8. U could say that lol

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  9. Bwaaaahaaahaaa!  The window lock button is DEFINITELY working!  That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a while.  Hope all is going well with the new house

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  10. Haha thanks!

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